When they catch me
Off guard
My heart breaks
Like no other
And I almost weep
For the truck driving pedophiles
And lesbian taxidermists
Hitting each other With chairs
Of course
Reminding myself
There is nothing I can do
Is only a click away
And judging
From the epic comedy
Blaring from seven billion channels
And roller-coastering
To an unfunny finale
I’m not positive it would be
In anyone’s best interest
If I could
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