6/11 Idaho Magazine Features - "The Demons of Boulder Lake" (non-fiction)

Daniel Claar - Idaho's Premier Backcountry Writer

Winner - Idaho Magazine Publisher's Choice Award 2010
"The Proper Filter"

Winner - Idaho Magazine Judge's Choice Award 2011
"Where the River Leads"

"Hot Spring Break "

"Stampede! "

"Seeing Things"
Winner - Idaho Magazine Second Place 2011

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

The Situation Is Worse Than I Thought

With a straight face
The doctor tells me
My cat may be suffering
From a psychological disorder
And that he might need
Anti-depressant medication

With a straight face
He delivers this message
And is met with
A stare that doesn’t know
Whether to laugh
Strangle someone
Or just start crying

When exactly did we inflict
This desperate bid
To ensure every waking second
Is a painless sleepwalk
Onto the animals

Did sabre-tooth and T. Rex
Need Prozac
To deal with their murderous ways
Does a wolf pack
Need to see a specialist
In family counseling
Does the bear
Truly need to hibernate
Or is it just suffering from
Seasonal affective disorder
Simply requiring
A shot of melatonin
And some light therapy

With a straight face
I tell the doctor
When you are flexible enough
To lick your own ass
My cat will start taking
Mind and mood altering pills

No comments:

Post a Comment